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Have you ever taken a drug test? Chances are, if you work in a corporate environment, you have had to take a pee test at least once. If you have, you probably also know how devastating a failed test can possibly be. So what if you found yourself in the unfortunate situation of having taken illicit drugs a little too soon before the drug test?
There are several emergency fixes you can try to pass a coming drug test.
- You can try to flush the traces of drugs from your body by downing a detox drink, but this might not be 100% effective.
- You could also submit someone else’s urine, but obviously, this is NOT exactly hygienic, and you never know if that person is truly clean or not.
- You also have the option to submit synthetic urine (read more). You can try to follow a DIY recipe to create your own fake urine, or you can purchase a fake urine kit, complete with a discreet dispenser.
Of course, these methods vary in success, but the most practical and popular of these methods is the last one; purchasing fake, clean urine that you can easily dispense into your sample cup at the testing facility.
There are many male version Whizzinator kits available for men to choose from, some even come with a fake dong to make the process extra convincing. Unfortunately, women don’t have as many discreet and effective options. Two of the most popular fake urine kits among women are; The Female Whizz Kit (or The Female Whizzinator), and the Monkey Whizz Kit for women. So let’s compare these two options and see if they meet our experts’ rigid criteria!
Testing the Female Whizz Kit and Monkey Whizz Kit for Women
To find out which of these two incredibly popular options is the best, we sought the help of two women who frequently partake in recreational marijuana use. They would surely fail a drug test if they came unprepared!
For this experiment, we arranged for the ladies to undergo a drug test. We asked Christy* to use the Female Whizzinator, and we asked Alice* to use the Monkey Whizz Kit. Both kits have specific instructions and we asked our subjects to follow them to a T on the day of the test.
(*not our test subjects’ real names)
Unfortunately, the testing facility exposed Christy for submitting a fake urine sample, rendering the test invalid. The facility recommended that she take the test again. However, Alice, using the Monkey Whizz Kit, passed the test.
Frankly, the Monkey Whizz Kit blows the Female Whizzinator out of the water in terms of reliability and performance. Based on our experience, it’s clear that the Monkey Whizz Kit is the best option available to women.
What Makes the Monkey Whizz Kit The Best Way for Women to Pass a Drug Test?
When testing urine for evidence of drug use, testing facilities take note of the following characteristics to confirm a sample’s authenticity:
- The temperature of the pee (real pee is between 90°F to 100°F)
- The presence of creatinine and uric acid (naturally-occurring compounds in human pee)
- The amount of water (fake pee or the pee of someone who drank too much water right before the test will be diluted)
- The color and smell
If the sample you submit fails any of these criteria, your attempt to cheat through a drug test will instantly be exposed, and you might face serious legal consequences!
What Makes a Quality Urine Kit?
A well-made fake urine kit will give you a synthetic urine sample that has all of the necessary compounds that will make you pass that drug test. The kit should also have a dispenser that maintains the synthetic urine’s temperature at the optimum level. The whole contraption should also be easily attachable to your body, and you should be able to easily pour the liquid into a cup discreetly.
It seems that the Female Whizzinator routinely fails to deliver a product that passes all these criteria, particularly the one regarding the ideal temperature of human urine (which is hard to replicate in a fake sample). It may also be because their formula does not have enough uric acid or creatinine to seem authentic.
Female Whizzinator Reviews
If you search online, you’ll find Female Whizzinator reviews to be a bit polarized. Some women say it works perfectly, other women say that the package is leaky and obvious, and an unlucky number of them say that they have failed drug tests and lost jobs using the Female Whizzinator.
Monkey Whizz Kit vs Female Whizzinator
The Monkey Whizz Kit stands out against the Female Whizzinator and other fake urine options because the kit covers all bases. Inside the kit you find the fake urine sample with an authentic formula, and it comes in a pouch with a thermometer that constantly monitors the liquid’s temperature.
It also comes with a disposable heating pouch that keeps the fake urine at the ideal temperature for a total of 8 hours on the day of the test.
Super Easy to Use
The Monkey Whizz Kit is really easy to use too. The contraption isn’t bulky and it’s easy to hide under clothing. It comes with an elastic band that can fit women of all sizes. The creators of the Monkey Whizz Kit really thought of everything when it comes to their female customers’ ease of use!
Issues I’ve Noticed
However, one issue I found with the Monkey Whizz Kit is that it doesn’t include an option to discreetly and accurately dispense the fake urine into the sample cup without getting caught. So if you have someone watching you take the drug test, you might have to get creative.
Monkey Whizz Kit is the Way to Go
If surprise drug tests are a regular occurrence in your life, we highly recommend that you go with the Monkey Whizz Kit (full review here). It may be tempting to gamble on the Female Whizzinator, or to create your own fake urine for cheap, but with all that’s at stake on the results of your drug test, banking on unreliable products can end in disaster.
After all that experimenting, we can safely conclude that the Monkey Whizz Kit is your best bet for a female fake urine kit. Always have a spare kit handy in the event of another surprise drug test at your workplace!